We Walk by Faith and not by Sight 2

To all the Saints,

Grace to you all, and peace!

With the many people I’ve not yet re-connected with since my return from sabbatical, rarely a day or two goes by without someone asking how it went, or “Was it what you expected?” I have taken great solace from the many more experienced than me in taking sabbaticals, who tell me that it is never quite what you expected — and that is the point! That said, speaking from my own small place in the universe, I can say my time away was almost nothing like I expected.

Even before my sabbatical began in October, I was sure I needed new glasses. The coating was coming off of the lens or something; no matter how much I cleaned them, I couldn’t get the smudges off. I was concerned it would affect my hike, but the truth is, I spent most of time looking at my feet so that I didn’t trip! With my eye doctor appointment already set for January, I figured I’d gut it out until then. It’s a guy thing.

Except that the big pile of books I had readied for my sabbatical was not getting any smaller. It wasn’t just that I wasn’t reading, I had gotten to where I didn’t want to read, something I’ve never experienced before. I’d start something, a book, a newspaper or magazine, and within minutes, push it away. And I soon re-scheduled my eye exam.

To make a months-long story short, it turns out that I had cataracts in both of my eyes, and the month of December was spent having, and recovering from, surgery. The books were not read, the writing never hit the page, and I wasn’t able to concentrate very well.

I was frustrated, despite the time I was able to spend on three pillars of my sabbatical plans: rest, prayer, and exercise. Whether I wanted to admit it or not, reading, writing, and thinking were what I really thought a sabbatical was about.

Thanks to the patient wisdom of a number of friends, I began to see a grace that I had been overlooking (notice how much I emphasize seeing in my life?) An old friend broke the ice, suggesting that God was giving me a sabbatical from something I’ve done for 45 of my 50 years: read. Perhaps I needed a break from that routine, that cocoon. Another helped me realize that perhaps the rest, prayer, and exercise should have been center stage all along, given how they are so often consigned to the sidelines. A third challenged me to be as gentle with myself as I would be with any of you, were the situations reversed. And I recognized in myself some needed growth of humility, observing some things I couldn’t do, and other things I was more than capable of doing.

“We walk by faith and not by sight.” Easy words to say, and I have said them tens of thousands of times since October. I said them to keep my focus and rhythm. I said them to keep going when I thought I couldn’t go any more. And now I have learned to say this phrase simply because it is true. In these complex times in which we live, I pray that we can break from routine and risk our safety; that we will make loving God and neighbor and ourselves the priority; and that gentleness with others and truth about ourselves will be instruments by which the Spirit moves us.

God is all in all,

Steve